


Not fade away

by Bl4ckHunter



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: F/M, Former love interest, Moving On, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-25
Updated: 2020-05-25
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:41:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24378160
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bl4ckHunter/pseuds/Bl4ckHunter
Summary: One-shot story. After Iris's death, Barry struggles to move on but finds out that not all old feelings fade away as he meets someone he used to love.
Relationships: Barry Allen/Patty Spivot, Past Barry Allen/Iris West - Relationship
Kudos: 6





	Not fade away

**Author's Note:**

> Something that had been nagging my mind. Takes place anytime post-Season 3, with Savitar dead and Joe, Cisco and Wally are protecting Central City in Barry's absence. And for the sake of the story, Iris died at the hands of Savitar alongside H.R. too, since to be frank, of all Wellses, H.R. was the least compelling and the world did not tear itself apart after Jay left the Speed Force prison. Tracy, who created the Speed Force Prison, was shown to be a kind-hearted individual. And the time remnant thing made no sense either, so for the sake of this story, Savitar was just some crazed speedster from the future, like Thawne and was beaten by Barry and killed by Joe.
> 
> Granted, Tracy may have been a different person when she created it, but the point is, the two people who came up with the idea for the prison were two people that would not want to have an innocent person suffer. So they would have ensured that Savitar alone would suffer the effects of the prison, not anyone else. When you think about it, it makes no sense that someone must stay in the Speed Force prison for the prisoner to be freed and neither Barry, Tracy or H.R. would want to allow innocent people to suffer for it.
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own DC Comics or the CW TV shows Arrow, The Flash, Legends of Tomorrow, Supergirl or any other characters or elements pertaining to the mentioned franchises.

Three months had passed after Iris's funeral and Savitar's death. Barry had been filled with so much guilt and grief over failing to save Iris that he left Central City for a time, asking for Cisco and Wally to protect Central City in his absence. During that time, Cisco and Wally found Caitlin and helped her make peace with what she had done as Killer Frost as she rejoined Team Flash.

* * *

Barry had moved on to Midway City, working there as a criminology lecturer in Midway City University. He knew Patty lived there but it wasn't like if he was trying to replace the hole left after Iris's death with Patty. Not really. But as he kept walking down campus, he wondered, whether he would ever meet her, like when he scanned the lecture room with his eyes, when giving lessons on CSI methods to the students.

* * *

One day, Barry was in the cafeteria, getting lunch as he went to the vendor. "Coffee, please."

"For me, too."

Barry immediately recognized the voice as he turned his head, looking in shock as the blonde woman stared back in shock as well as Barry's green eyes met the blonde's blue ones.

"Patty?" Barry blurted out.

"Barry?" Patty asked as the time suddenly seemed to freeze as they stared each other. Neither one of them seemed to have aged a day. He wasn't really thinking about seeing her again but neither was he really trying to avoid her, not really expecting that they would meet again.

It seemed like a lifetime before Patty found her voice. "Hi."

"Hi." Barry said, managing to let out something of a smile. "It's been a while."

"Yeah." Patty said, taking a breath. "I've heard you're working as a lecturer here now."

"Yeah. I actually got a quick hang on the teacher thing. What about you?" Barry asked.

"Just graduated. I'll be starting as a CSI in Midway City Police Department next month." Patty said.

"That's great." Barry said.

"Yeah." Patty chuckled. "Sometimes I go to the campus cafeteria for a cup of coffee. They make great expresso here." She took a breath. "I actually wanted to talk with you, as soon as I heard you're here. Do you have a moment?"

"Well… my class starts in an hour so…" Barry followed Patty outside the campus.

Patty looked at him with a worried look. "Barry, honestly. Tell me. How are you? Really? Look, you don't need to lie to me anymore. I understand why you did. I'm just asking you to be honest with me. I heard about Iris. I'm sorry for what happened."

Barry and Patty sat down on the bench as he met her understanding look. "I'm… coping." He sighed. "Honestly… I just don't know what to do. Cisco and the gang are doing a good job protecting the city but I…" He took a breath. "I failed her. She believed in me and I failed her."

Patty sighed, not sure what to say as she held his hand. "You can't blame yourself, Barry. It never helps. I blamed myself for my Dad too. But…" She took a breath. "…if you keep dwelling on what you could have done or wishing it had been you instead of her, that guilt is eventually going to eat you up. You need to find a way to heal that gap inside you and let go of her."

"So you're saying I should forget about her?" Barry asked, turning to her.

"No." Patty shook her head. "Sorry, I… that's not what I meant. I understand you want to keep her in your memory and that you're afraid that if you don't let go, you're eventually going to lose her forever. But you need to accept that you can't go back and wonder what could have been different. That's not how it works. Just ask yourself, would Iris want you to keep beating yourself up? Or Joe?"

Barry considered before chuckling. "She'd probably want to kick me a few times and yell at me before she'd stop being angry."

Patty chuckled before giving him an understanding look. "Letting go and forgiving yourself, it's the hardest thing you'll ever have to do in your life. You don't need to forget about Iris. But you need to accept that dwelling on what could have been, is not going to change anything. What's in the past is in the past. You can't blame yourself if your best was not enough. Just tell me honestly, do you think that Iris would want you to be happy?"

* * *

Barry visited Central City Cemetery, with Oliver, Sara, Earth-1 Laurel, Joe, Cecile, Cisco and Caitlin at his side as he knelt down towards Iris's grave.

"Hey." Barry said, taking a breath. "I… I come here quite often, huh? I just…" He sighed. "I know I've said it before… but I'm sorry. I've tried… but I failed. I tried to save you. I don't know if you're blaming me or if you forgive me, I just…" He took a breath. "Wherever you are… I hope you can find your peace. And I hope you're happy there with Eddie. I don't want to forget you, Iris. But I keep holding onto you, I'll never be able to move on. And I can't try to save you without making things worse again. A friend of mine told me I need to stop blaming myself. And… all I wanted for you was to be happy. And I'm sure you want it too for me." He placed his hand on the gravestone, stray tear rolling down his cheek. "Goodbye, Iris. I'll always love you."

Cisco, Caitlin and Joe held Barry's shoulder as he got up and took deep heavy breaths, as if a heavy burden had been lifted off his shoulders and weight fell off his chest and he tried to get ahold of himself. "Thanks. For being here."

"Barry, if you need something…" Cisco offered.

Barry nodded. "Right now… I just need… space. From everything."

"Barry, we're here for you if you need us." Caitlin offered as they hugged him.

* * *

For the past few months, Barry and Patty kept going out, when he was working as a teacher in Midway City University and Patty worked as Midway City Police CSI.

"So… how do you like working as a teacher?" Patty asked as they walked down the street, catching up.

"It's… refreshing." Barry said. "I actually like it."

"I'm glad to hear it." Patty said as they walked down the street. "I missed you, you know. I've thought about you a lot."

Barry couldn't say that he didn't think about her but Iris… he had been neglecting a lot of things because of her, had he? Maybe if he had decided to stay with Patty, things could have been different. Maybe he would not be facing the grief. "I know I've said it before but I'm sorry I couldn't be honest with you." He admitted. "I… there's a lot of things I regret. And… lying to you about me being the Flash and letting you go… it was one of the hardest things I ever had to do. And I'm sorry for that but… I just couldn't…"

"You don't need to explain yourself to me, Barry." Patty assured him, holding his hand. "I understand it all, I really do. I understand why you denied being the Flash. You thought you were protecting me. I'm not blaming you for anything, I just… I wish things had turned out differently between us. I'm sorry that you felt like you had to lie to me to protect me."

Barry smiled. "You've always had a good heart."

They walked down the street and stared at each other, feeling the tension between them grow. They were about to kiss, when suddenly, a car drove by, passing by a puddle of water, splashing both Barry and Patty, who both groaned in disgust.

"Really?" Barry snapped.

"Damn! That was my favorite shirt!" Patty said, rubbing the dirt off her face. "My apartment isn't that far from here. Come on."

* * *

Barry and Patty entered her apartment as they were entering the bathroom, with Patty picking some spare clothes for them. They smiled at each other and stared and the next thing they knew, they kissed, old feelings resurfacing as Barry unbuttoned Patty's shirt and unclipped her bra, while Patty took off Barry's jacket, both of them tossing their clothes across the floor, while entering the shower, with Patty turning on the water as they kissed, while Patty turned the valve as the warm water sprayed down their naked skin, washing the dirt off them.

"How long has it been?" Patty chuckled.

"Too long." Barry said as she pulled him in for a kiss, the steam from the hot water fogging the glass, while they both picked a handful of shampoo, rubbing the dirt of each other's skin, while kissing.

**Author's Note:**

> I'll be blunt, Season 3-4 Barry was probably the worst version of himself, since he was turned into a selfish jackass. In Season 3, he was so obsessed with the idea of saving Iris that he neglected Cisco and Caitlin, when his friendship with them, Wells, Joe and Ralph is the heart of the show IMO and I am not in a mood to engage in a debate with anyone about WestAllen. Cisco was clearly in pain after losing Dante and Caitlin was struggling with her turning into Killer Frost but it's not like Barry cared, since he was so focused on Iris that he kept both Cisco and Caitlin at arms' length, not once thinking about both of them in pain.
> 
> And Flashpoint was of course a good opportunity to bring Laurel back too but that went out of the window because the showrunners of Arrow of course had to treat Laurel like crap and focus on Olicity. Screw Guggenheim and Mericle. What a bunch of jackasses.
> 
> Now I'm probably going to get some flak for Barry saying "I love Iris.", from those who do not support WestAllen and know I don't support it either. But if it makes you feel better, "I love you." Is not always explicitly a romantic gesture, it is also amicable or family gesture. Take it as it is, I was not trying to tick anyone off and I don't want to engage in an argument. It's up to the reader's interpretation, OK?
> 
> From what I do recall, Iris was supportive of Barry/Patty in Season 2, specifically in 2x10-11 and Iris even encouraged him to be honest with Patty, when he was having nightmares about Zoom killing Patty.
> 
> Barry and Patty had great chemistry and I think she was the best love interest for him and would've worked, if Barry had been more honest with her about being the Flash and she was treated like crap that after she was sent off, she faded into the background because of Shantel VanSanten being casted into Shooter TV series and the writers forced to send Patty off suddenly.
> 
> This may be a rebound with Barry and Patty but I think that Patty was probably the best love interest for him.
> 
> Please review and let me know if you have enjoyed this one-shot.
> 
> With regards
> 
> Bl4ckHunter


End file.
